Weight loss struggle

Okay so last week I had a really bad week. Half way through the week I weighted myself for some reason, I do not remember why and I had already lost 3 pounds I was excited because that meant I was down 11 pounds only a whole 79 to go till my main goal. I felt good I was excited.  The day of my weigh in I weighed and I had gained 2 of the three pounds I had lost. I couldn’t figure out why because I was still eating anywhere from 750-1300 calories  a day. The last two days I have been writing everything I eat down and today After reading an article I decided I am done with counting calories I never have before now. Have I only ever just ate when I was hungry and till I was full/ half my plate. So you know what screw calories. I will for the next 5 days write down what I eat and how many calories I eat but I am done with them. I will do the whole 1 plate, only eat half of it at a time and a few more little rules I made up for my self years ago when I was losing weight. Today I have been pushing myself to eat more and huh I am miserable. I am so full I feel sick. Like I will go throw everything I have ate up. I have ate way to much for today. I over ate completely at supper but I was like what the heck? I’ve been wanting what I ate for a month now and stayed away from it. I’m not losing anything.  Anyways today is my blue day and yes I over done it but I have learned a lot from today and these weight loss weeks.

  1. Is that I am a fatso and that is the truth so be it.
  2. You can always work your butt off and still not get anywhere.
  3. Sometimes you need help. Me I need help in losing weight IDK what to do anymore.
  4. I really want this weight to hurry up and come off.

I will be back later for another post but for now  this is all. I think that we all have to find our way of handling a new life style and well the calorie count and what not isn’t working out to well with me.  that I am having to find my own way.


Weigh in day!

So here’s my rant for the day….It’s weight in day.

So today’s my actually weigh in day. Idk why other day I weighed myself I normally only do it on weight in days but I don’t know how you can gain 2 pounds, nothing’s changed and calories and workouts are the same. It really makes me aggravated because my weight naturally will go up and down when I ate what I want and not exercising. Not to mention I’ve not cheated went over calorie goal, ate sweets other than other day for my sons birthday I had one small slice of cake. I’ve still lost from last week only one pound but I weighted in the middle of the week for some reason and I had already lost 3 pounds from last weigh in day (Every Saturdays) so I’m really lost, bothered and stressed about all this. Work my butt off and get no where. Not to mention my measurements went up from last week. I literally do not know what’s up.

Use to I would be like I need to lose weight and lose ten pounds the first week then it would slow down because the first week would be lots of water weight and cutting sweets and stuff out by never gained back what I lost. I really feel like something’s up and it’s not with my calorie intake. I just feel like a 200-215 pound person shouldn’t be stuck and plattoded at the weight she started at when there’s been so much change.

I’m giving it this week I’m going to keep a recorded of what I eat I normally just add it up on a white board and erase it at the end of the day before bed and maybe talk to a nutritionist after this keeps happening and it’s not that I give up I’ll lose it then gain it back. a few weeks ago I lost weight 4 pounds then I gained 2 of it back and then the next week lost It. Yes I had one bad week in between but that was after I had to lost the weight I had already lost and I didn’t gain anything that week when I was having a rough week I just stayed still. Last time I tried to lose weight I watched what I ate strictly for a month and I didn’t lose a pound. I literally don’t know why a 215 pound person can’t lose weight. I know you hit plattos and stuff but I simple can’t even get it started. It’s not that I don’t know how to lose weight I do I have proof with picture of my self over the years. I know it’s about how much and eat good stuff instead of a bag of potato chips. But seriously trying and just not seeing anything and working your butt off then you turn around and gain weight and it’s not that time of the month (I don’t even bother the scale that time of month because I’ve gained and lost ten pounds over those 7 days.) and you’ve not cheated stopped working out or anything. I simply am pissed off because I worked my butt off only to gain weight. Now that’s just screwed up. 

I have know idea what else to do other than go talk to someone and or maybe go to the doctor about it. I am tired of being this size and hating looking at myself in the mirror. and to work my butt off and gain when I had lost back really bothers me specially when I know I didn’t back slide. :/ I do not want to lose 3 pounds then gain 2 back to only lose 1 pound then do it over again. It’s to much for me and it will take me forever to lose weight like that and I don’t think that can be to healthy.  Lose it and gain it all back then lose it then gain it back.

If you have dealt with this please feel free to message me.

Mommy Moment

Okay so I have to share my Mommy moment that happened yesterday.

My husband was getting in the shower and I was changing into my workout clothes my daughter who is  2 & 1/2 was in the bedroom with us. My husband was naked grabbing some underwear he forgot to take to the bathroom with him. As I sat on the edge of the bed fiddling with my socks I heard my daughter say “Mommy, he’s got a big one.” I sat there and was thinking “What?” I asked her “Do what, Galaxy?”  She was all bashful and lade her head on the bed. I looked at my husband and we both couldn’t help but to smile and laugh. I told her “Yes, Daddy’s penis is big. It’s because he’s big.” Mind you all she has a little brother and a big brother. My husband said “I give I don’t know what to say. I’m taking my shower now.”

My daughter recently has shocked me with some of the things she has said. A few weeks ago I was changing my clothes and putting my bra on and she said “Boobies are to feed baby’s.” When I went to talk to after she pointed and told me. She acted all shy and bashful. It’s right boobies are for babies. I nursed my three children.

Children shock me with what they say and do sometimes.


My want

My want…. probably not actuality going to happen but we shall see. I can dream right? Well here is my weight dream.  I am 207 pounds I am wanting to get down to 125.

I want to lose 17 pounds by May. That will make me 190 pounds however IDK if I can lose at least 17 pounds in three weeks.  I hope I can get there.

I want to lose 17  pounds in the month of April to be in 190

I want to lose 20 pounds in the month of May to be 170

I want to lose 15 pounds in the month of June to be 155

I want to lose 10 pounds in the month of July to be 145

I want to lose 8 pounds in the month of August to be 137

I want to lose 7 pounds in the month of September to be 130

I want to lose 5 pounds in the month of October to be 125

Week 4 Day 1

I started my journey not to give up on March 18, 2017 and I have back slid in my eating,  days I didn’t workout and with that being said I have only lost 7 pounds since march 18th and it is April 8th. I hate that I haven’t lost much but the last month I have figured out what had to be done and it was a slow process and I think I am there. I still crave sugar just not as much. I still want everything in the kitchen other than what I need. my IC is feeling so much better but with the days I slid it still hurts. The last three days I have been back on track and I am hoping to stay that way. I have lost 2 pounds in those days. Which is great. Today is my measurements and weigh in day and I did even though I though I wouldn’t have lose anything because I have only been back at it no cheating and sliding backwards for two days. My body feels it and my legs ache and I still have to do my workout today. I am wanting to cut out mayo I eat that with like everything but with IC it is a flare up in a spoonful. Since my start on March 18, 2017 I have lost 7 pounds and I have lost 10 3/4 inches. It isn’t as much as I would have liked but I only got out how much I put in. I do not see any change and I am hoping 7 more pounds I will be able to tell it. I would like to lose more than two pounds this week but we shall see. I would love to be 190-195 by the end of the month but that’s a lot of weight to lose. 195 would be 12 pounds and 190 would be 17 pounds. As long as it is at least 2-3 pounds a week I will be happy.  I refuse to go into May weighing 200 pounds. I will be in the 100’s. Even if it is 199.  I am trying to stay positive about this. I didn’t gain it all over night and I will not lose it over night. I gained it over 9 months and as long as I lose it over the next 9 months I will be thrilled. There is a race I want to do in July but I am not sure if I will be able to do it. I wanted to be 160 pounds at least to do that Spartan race and IDK if I’ll lose the weight by then.  However my goal is to be under 200 this month that is 7 pounds to lose in the next three weeks. We shall see what happens. More would be so great.

My real Struggle

Everyone thinks oh week one of my weight loss journey I will get everything down pat and I will lose weight fast and I won’t slide back into my old life style and I will always workout. What a load of bull crap. The last almost three weeks have been really hard and I have slid off track and I have went back on it. Tomorrow  starts  week 3.  The last two weeks have been so many different emotions run through me just a real struggle. I hate food yet I love food. It’s a total love hate relationship. I like food because it tastes good but I hate it because it makes me feel awful and makes me fat. The first two weeks where the only two weeks I lost weight. I weighted myself this morning to see how off track I got because I hadn’t ran or ate right the last like 4-5 days. I was still 209 Which was a relief because I haven’t gained weight but been off track for almost a week. It was one reason after another. It was a learning experience that’s for sure. I may not have lost any more weight than what I did the first like two week but I did learn a lot. I learned that no matter what happens I must stay on track and work on me. If I do not work on myself I will lose myself once again. This battle is a fight against myself for myself. Yesterday was my first day all over again however it wasn’t. I picked up where I left off. I ran day 3 over again. I figured out what I would have to do to pick back up and meet my deadline for my 5k run. I also started my 21DayFix workout program. I am doing it as well as  a few other things as well. I am trying to get to eating only when I am hungry and not going over my calorie range at the same time yesterday I only ate when I was hungry and I only ate 750 calories out of my 1200 calorie max.  I have only ate when I was hungry today as well so far I have only ate like 320 calories and it is 12pm. I have decided to cut out all sugar completely. I have for today and yesterday before I was eating it in moderation. I am not going to continue to do so for now later down the road I might add it in in moderate servings. I have also decided to cut at most carbs. Just limit it to mostly none. I am sore from yesterdays workout and I am hoping in the next couple days I will stop being sore my thighs and my back are so sore.

Thanks for listening.

Week 2 Day 4

So I decided on March 18th to start watching what I eat and I did for three days and I  weighed myself and I had already lost 5 pounds. The next four days I bounced out and back from doing good eating to not doing good eating.  I started my period and every woman knows you can’t weight yourself while you’re on your period because you always gain weight while your friendly visitor joins. My week mark was the 25th of march. I didn’t weight myself at the 1 week mark nor did I measure myself. Today is week 2 day 4 and I have been doing good this week. I still haven’t weighed and will not till my period is gone completely. I  have been staying around 1200 calories a day. I have been eating whatever I want I just count the calories. I know I need to probably cut out more starches but for this week I am just making sure I stay around 1200 calories.

Sunday I ate: 1133

Monday I ate: 1195

Tuesday I ate: 1230 yes I went over but I was hungry and I had green beans.

Today I have only ate breakfast of 250 calories

I also started the couch to 5k program that’s on your phone. I have done the first and second day. I do the third tomorrow and I already feel the pain from yesterday. I also do a home workout. I am wanting to start the 21dayfit program Monday. I think it will be a better workout that what I am doing. I will include a few exercises from what I am doing now but mostly just do it and see if it helps for the next three weeks. I might start today I have not decided yet. since today is my workout day. I was wanting to run it by my husband first. I have to go for my walk today. I am hoping my hubby wants to go do that today or at least lets me while he works out. Having kinds can be a challenge when wanting to go to the gym. I have to say if you’re around a YMCA  and have kids go there it is so worth the monthly payment!!!



Day 4

Today I have went under my calorie count.

Breakfast I had a rice cake and peanut butter

Lunch beef stick and green honey tea

Dinner Salad with Fish and dressings

Total calorie count for the day is 672


I guess its okay I only ate when I was hungry and when I felt full. I think it evens out with yesterdays over eating.


Day 2

I totally for got to write in my blog about my day 2. I ate 1315 calories 5 less calories than day 1. I saw that to be a good thing. Well day 2 was okay. I made it through. 🙂